a crazy lady home alone

well, this is the forth night in a row i will be spending alone.  harvey is at some kind of stupid school for bankers that the stupid bank sent him to at stupid ole miss (GAG).  at least i know he won't be bothering with any of the women.  he has learned, firsthand, that ole miss girls "ain't 'bout nothin'" (to quote my illustrious former co-worker).  this is the longest time we have ever been apart, EVER.  even when i worked in jackson, i didn't go more than 4 nights/ 3 days without him.  so, of course, i've been a complete mess.  in fact, i became so pathetic over the course of sunday and monday that i bought all 4 twilight movies (horrible, teeny-bopper, loser-ass, suckfest, i know) on tuesday and watched them yesterday and today.  fail.  bad idea.  utterly pitiful, embarrassing, crying every time the score changes BAD.  but hey, if you're gonna be miserable, be miserable.  do it up.  it just makes me think, though, since we're getting married and all.  people actually get married that don't feel this way.  i mean, every day, they do it.  there are women who are marrying men whose absence does not make them go on crazed, self-destructive twilight binges.  i mean, there are women who are actually logical about situations like this.  they're just like, "oh yeah, he has to be gone, but  it's for work; i understand.  i'll miss him, but it's ok."  and that's it.  no crying.  no wearing his clothes or using his toothbrush like a big freak.  WTH?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?  i mean, there are actual people in existence now who get married based on money...or looks...or expectation...or, saddest of all, insufficient love.  this is definitely the very worst reason.  it's the cruelest.  you make a person feel like you love them, while holding some part of yourself back.  if you love somebody with anything less than every single fiber of your being, you should let them go.  if you love somebody, but you ever EVER for one second think you should be with someone else, you should.  maybe not the someone else you though about, but not the person you're with.  it's wrong.  it's unfair, and it's ugly.  if your "somebody" were to die, and you wouldn't VERY SERIOUSLY consider blowing your brains out immediately thereafter, DON'T FREAKING MARRY THEM.  people totally probably think i'm on a high horse and totally full of it and whatever else they want to think.  i don't care.  i can honestly say that this is what i believe, and i'm not going to change my mind or apologize.  if you ever had a doubt about the person that you with, there's a reason.  i haven't.  not once.  so everybody in the universe follow my advice, and this is what happens: divorce rate WAY down.  on a lighter note, i have also been reading the harry potter books.  they are wonderful. :) <3